Fall Weather Descended With A Vengeance This Weekend

I love it! I'm sitting here on my couch in layered sweats & fuzzy slippers. I've slept better the last 2 nights than I had in months. And Princess Purrsnickety has deigned to come indoors and be cuddly!

Not much else going on. Dad had a chest pain scare that landed him in the hospital Thursday night, but was allowed to go home after blood work showed no sign of a heart attack and a scan showed no blockages. They think k it might have been a weird reaction to his flu shot earlier in the week. He goes to his cardiologist for a follow-up tomorrow, just to be on the safe side.

I haven't made any progress on my two previously posted cross stitch projects, but I have made a start on this:

For the SAL that I signed up to do, this is the frame for Gold Cottage- part 1 of Country Cottage Needlework's Fall Festival series. I'm hoping to finish (or at least get close) all 5 parts by the time the SAL ends in November!

Until later, dear reader (readers? Is anyone out there?!?)

The Best Workout DVD Ever

So, thanks to my addiction to British TV, I discovered the lunacy that is Miranda Hart. I love this woman- she is a British me...well, sort of. Unlike her semi-autobiograpghical character on Miranda, I manage to keep my clothes on in most occasions.

Anyway, as I was searching for more to watch, I discovered that Ms. Hart had made a workout video. Not just a workout video, but one even a hopeless klutz like ME can do. So of course I had to order it...and the one bit of equipment that it calls for:

Yep! I'm going to maracasize (shut up, it's a thing) my way to fitness! Dr. B will be proud...if he doesn't laugh himself to death first.

Recent Find on the Bookstore Clearance Table

Anyone who has been reading this blog knows that I love list making. Serious lists, goofy lists, grocery liusts; you name it. I tried my hand at a bucket list a few years ago and it got a bit overwhelming. Then I found this:

Seriously, how funny is this?!? I would never have paid full price for it, but the $3 I spent on the clearance rack was worth it! I haven't started filling it in yet, but have had a good time flipping through the pages and imagining what I'm going to write!

I'm That Book!

Gail Carriger strikes again! I saw this and *had* to post my version.

I'm that Book

1. ___________ Are My Weakness
Kittens

2. Their Eyes Were Watching ___________
Tom Hiddleston

3. Have ___________ Will Travel
Caffeine

4. Wuthering ___________
Cross Stitch

5. The Scarlet ___________
Reeboks

6. The Portrait of a ___________
Caffeine Junkie

7. Three ___________ in a Boat
Cops

8. The Strange Case of ___________
The Grouch and Her Cat

9. The Call of the ___________
Gibbering Idiot

10. Journey to the Center of the ___________
Tootsie Roll Pop

Today is National Hug Your Cat Day.

I am at a family reunion in Iowa. Nightshade is getting extra hugs when I get home!

Guess What Today Is?

No, it's not the day I'm finally committed to the wacko-ward. Although that IS probably coming soon.

Today is National Lost Sock Memorial Day!

That's right! Today is the day we celebrate all those missing socks...the purple argyle that was a present from your eccentric aunt, the zillion and one black/grey/white sports socks, the novelty lion print you couldn't resist on your trip to the zoo...wait, was that last one just me? Anyway, today is the day to gather around your clothes dryers and scream "Where? Where are they, rat bastard?!? Gimme back my socks!"

Yep, it's Derby Time again...

I'm out here at the track as the mobile property clerk. I had to come in at 7 this morning, which was NOT pretty!

Anyway, to keep myself entertained, I've come up with a Fashion Victim Bingo chart. We'll see how many I've checked off by the end of the day.

1. Man in seersucker suit with visible underwear lines.

2. Man in seersucker suit with lack of underwear clearly visible.

3. Woman with skirt that could double for headband.

4. Woman with more material in her hat than in her entire outfit.

5. Group of frat boy types in coordinating ugly plaid shorts.

6. Woman wearing heels too high with skirt too short.

7. Anyone wearing ugly novelty hat.

8. Drunk guy without pants. (Seriously, I have seen this. They usually lose them fighting in the infield)

9. Couple who have taken the matchy matchy look WAY too far.

10. Trifecta- woman in hat too big, heels too tall, dress that provides inadequate coverage on both ends.

Chech back later to see how I did!z

Song Lyric Wednesday, take 2

This time it's Rixton:

"Me And My Broken Heart"

[Chorus:]
All I need's a little love in my life
All I need's a little love in the dark
A little but I'm hoping it might kick start
Me and my broken heart
I need a little loving tonight
Hold me so I'm not falling apart
A little but I'm hoping it might kick start
Me and my broken heart

Yeah...

[Verse 1:]
Shot gun, aimed at my heart, you got one
Tear me apart and then some
How do we call this love
I try to run away but your eyes
Tell me to stay, oh why,
Why do we call this love

[Pre-Chorus:]
It seems like we've been losing control
Somebody tell me I'm not alone
When I say

[Chorus:]
All I need's a little love in my life
All I need's a little love in the dark
A little but I'm hoping it might kick start
Me and my broken heart
I need a little loving tonight
Hold me so I'm not falling apart
A little but I'm hoping it might kick start
Me and my broken heart

[Verse 2:]
Maybe some part of you just hates me
You pick me up and play me
How do we call this love?
One time tell me you need me tonight
To make it easy, you lie
And say it's all for love

[Pre-Chorus:]
It seems like we've been losing control
Somebody tell me I'm not alone
When I say

[Chorus:]
All I need's a little love in my life
All I need's a little love in the dark
A little but I'm hoping it might kick start
Me and my broken heart
I need a little loving tonight
Hold me so I'm not falling apart
A little but I'm hoping it might kick start
Me and my broken heart

[Bridge:]
Whoa oh, whoa oh
Me and my broken heart
Whoa oh, whoa oh
Me and my broken
Yeah, yeah, yeah
(Me and my broken)
Yeah, yeah, yeah
How do we call this?

It's just me
It's just me
It's just me
Me and my broken heart

[Chorus:]
All I need's a little love in my life
All I need's a little love in the dark
A little but I'm hoping it might kick start
Me and my broken heart
I need a little loving tonight
Hold me so I'm not falling apart
A little but I'm hoping it might kick start
Me and my broken heart

Song Lyric Wednesday

Couldn't think of anything original to post, so here are the lyrics to a Train song that I like:

"50 Ways To Say Goodbye"

My heart is paralyzed
My head was oversized
I'll take the high road like I should
You said it's meant to be
That it's not you, it's me
You're leaving now for my own good

That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say

She went down in an airplane
Fried getting suntanned
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes!
She met a shark under water
Fell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies
And ways to say you died

My pride still feels the sting
You were my everything
Some day I'll find a love like yours (a love like yours)
She'll think I'm Superman
Not super minivan
How could you leave on Yom Kippur?

That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say

She was caught in a mudslide
Eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes!
She dried up in the desert
Drowned in a hot tub
Danced to death at an east side night club
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies
And ways to say you died

I wanna live a thousand lives with you
I wanna be the one you're dying to love...
But you don't want to

That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say
That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say

She went down in an airplane
Fried getting suntanned
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes!
She met a shark under water
Fell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies

She was caught in a mudslide
Eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes!
She dried up in the desert
Drowned in a hot tub
Danced to death at an east side night club
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies
And ways to say you died

Random Fandom **now updated with visible photos!**

In case the picture doesn't show up, it's supposed to be actor Tom Hiddleston, best known to American audiences as Loki from the Marvel movies.

I have fallen in utter lust with this man. He's beautiful, British, a VERY versatile and talented actor, and by all accounts a genuine sweetheart.

I am so desperately ga-ga over this man that I found myself doing something I never thought I would do- I joined the fandom community. I've found a few groups on Facebook where I go online and babble incoherently about Tom. I got lucky- on my first try, I joined a group that is full of women (and possibly a few men- I'm never sure) that are actually able to type coherently and have intelligent, if rather dirty, conversation about Tom, what we like about Tom, what we'd like to do WITH Tom, and what we'd do if we actually met him. (general consensus is blush furiously, babble incoherently if we can speak at all, and possibly faint)

That group led me to two more...which led me to a deliciously dirty Tumblr site that I'm not sharing (EVIL LOL)

Anyway, I'm having a good time with it so far. I don't plan on becoming one of those people who lets fandom consume their life. I have resisted the odd urge to wrote my own stories, dirty or otherwise, and I'm certainly not going to write them on my work computer!

Ok, I'll stop now.

June Goals

1. Move back into the main bedroom

2. still trying to excavate Laundry Mountain

3. totally clean out my poor car

4. clean out current bedroom

5. create order out of the 5 boxes & innumerable bags of stitch stash

6. take another box of books to Half Price Books

7. Finish the birthday card I started stitching for Uncle John LAST year so I can give it to him THIS year.

8. take 3 bags of culled wardrobe items to Goodwill

9. create a packing list for the July family reunion trip (summer in the swamp...joy...)

10. get the window unit a/c re-installed in the living room.

Firsts of the year!

First person spoken to: Mom

First thing to drink: iced coffee

First thing to eat: bowl of Corn Chex w/sugar

First thing cooked: Chuck steak on Foreman grill

First contemplated purchase: a new Foreman grill (because my current one has about had it)

First actual purchase: box of Immodium (damn meds have a new side effect)

First website visited: Facebook

First game played: Bubble Witch Saga

First book read: Cat Vs Human- Another Dose of Catnip

First DVD watched: Blackadder the 3rd

First "responsible adult" activity: balanced the checkbook (and winced to see that I've been spending money like a drunken sailor)

First household chore: Washed sinkful of dishes that accumulated over the last 10 days or so. ( What?!? I live alone, so it's not like I'll run out of dishes. I tend to run out of silverware first)

First person to get a hug: My friend Trey

First person to get sworn at: The idiot in front of me on the way to work who signaled a left turn, turned right, and then drove at 10 m.p.h. while reading text messages on his phone

First phone call answered at work: Officer who didn't know his name would come up on caller ID and freaked out when I called him by name.

First blog post: done!

Random thoughts

1. Listening to a commercial for some ambulance chaser and heard this gem: "Have you or a loved one experienced heart failure or died during kidney dialysis? You may be entitled to compensation." Um, if I'm dead, how do I claim the compensation?

2. Volunteered at the animal shelter Sunday. I had a really good time and have signed up for the orientation to make it a regular gig. The hardest part will be trying not to take all the animals home with me. Like the adorable black kitten, Tipsy, I met today. Luckily, she's already found a potential forever home- just waiting for the background check to come back. (the shelter requires proof of vaccination if you have other pets before they let you adopt a new one) My other favorite critter was the bunny- Hoptimus Prime. 

3. Weighed in and am back down to 326 lbs. I can't take much credit for the weight loss- my sinuses have been draining for a week and I've been too nauseous to eat much.

4. Finally got to turn my heater off for a few days! Even better- I got to open the windows and air the house out. Nightshade was thrilled to claim her spot in the front window.

5. My new smart phone may have been a mistake. There are so many free games to download that it isn't funny. Just what I needed- another way to waste time.

That's about it for today. I've been too sick with sinus issues to do anything entertaining or think of anything clever to post. 

Party Like A Rock Star

I'm always amused when somebody gets wind of the outrageous demands made by celebrities before they will deign to make an appearance somewhere. Lady Gaga has triggered the latest bout of stories with her demands for white leather sofas among other things. Jen of www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com posted what would be her list of demands and asked her readers what theirs would be. So, with a little thought, here are some of mine:

1. A case of ice cold Nestle Pure Life Water.

2. A gallon of strong, iced coffee

3. Dark chocolate covered almonds on a silver salver

4. A crystal bowl filled with Fererro Rocher candies

5. Bouquets of purple flowers in each corner of the room and on a table in the center of the room

6. A Cheesesteak & Ham Sandwich from the original J Michael's Philly Deli in Wilmington NC

7. A case of ice cold Dr Pepper in glass bottles

8. A cool, dark, quiet room for me to rest in when I grow weary of the hangers-on, equipped with a queen-sized pillowtop bed made with jersey sheets, a fluffy duvet, and equipped with 6 pillows of varying thickness.

9. A handsome dark haired male assistant with either blue or green eyes and a melodious British/Scottish/Irish accent

10. A chinese buffet that includes Mongolian Beef, potstickers, and shredded pork with green beans.

11. A jacuzzi with 3 black and 3 purple beach towels

12. A selection of Regency Era romances, Mystery novels, and Steampunk novels with a good light to read by.

13. A funnel cake fryer, manned by another British hunk

14. A personal masseuse

15. A sound system playing soft jazz in the background.


I could keep going, but I think that's enough silliness for now. Sadly, if I wasn't so lazy/broke, I could have some of those things in my daily life. LOL

Jamie Oliver's Great Britain

I've never been a big fan of Mr Oliver's, but I thought I'd give him one more try since this is supposed to be his take on classic British dishes. Bleh. The non-recipe pages are hard to read with their multi-colored print, and the recipes themselves are crammed onto their pages with small print. And the smugness I've always perceived from him just flows. I agree with Gordon Ramsay- "Every time I see him, I just want to hold him down and give him a good wash!"

Reading it was an interesting way to spend a few hours, but I wouldn't want to cook anything from it. (for the record, as much as I like Gordon, I don't want to cook any of his recipes either)

Celebrate- Pippa Middleton

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha! She got paid HOW MUCH for this?!? At least she admits in the forward that people mainly know who she is because of her sister,  her brother-in-law, and her butt.

Ok, let me find something positive to say: The pictures are pretty.

Bad Dates- Story 1

Part of the "Why I Am Still Single" series, here is a look at some of the worst dates I have ever been on:


One outstanding memory is from my time working at Books-A-Million, back in NC. We had several  semi-creepy regulars, some of whom kept trying to get dates with the female staff. (And on one memorable occasion, one of the male staff members) Two of them were good matches for me IN THEORY as we had several interests in common. However, they had zero social skills and as superficial as it sounds, were both kind of odd looking. (Like I'm a real prize, but still they just didn't do it for me)

Anyway, one of them, who I shall call Wolfie (as he was on a werewolf kick when we met), came into the store a lot. One of my coworkers, A, warned me about him. She'd given in and gone on a date with him shortly before I started working there and said it was the longest night of her life. So I made a point of keeping our conversations brief, yet friendly, and heading him off at the pass whenever he started veering into "will you go out with me territory?"

We were doing a scanning inventory of the store, which meant going shelf by shelf, scanning barcodes, and pulling out any titles the chain wanted to discontinue. It was my turn to scan and I was on my knees working on a low shelf of art books. (and cursing a blue streak under my breath) Wolfie came in, asked a coworker where I was, and proceeded to come stand over me as I worked, yapping away. I wasn't entirely paying attention to the conversation as I WAS WORKING, so my end mostly consisted of the occasional "uh-huh" and "Sure." Until I heard him say "Great! When should I pick you up?"

WHAAAAAAA? I looked over at the service desk and 3 of my coworkers were doubled over laughing. Apparently one of my absent minded "sures" was in answer to the date question. DAMN.

Since there was no graceful way to get out of it without being an utter cow (I am sometimes a nice-ish person), I decided to bite the bullet and go ahead with it. Also, I knew I was moving to Kentucky in a few weeks weeks, so it's not like there was a chance of any further dates. I flatly refused to give him my address- I told him I'd meet him at the store- but relcutantly gave him my phone number.

When he called later, we discussed ideas and went with the classic first date combo of dinner & a movie. We both liked Chinese, so I said any restaurant but the one where I'd gotten my first (and worst) case of food poisoning would be fine. We were both Godzilla fans, and he wanted to go see that, but I told him I'd already seen it with my brother (true) and didn't like it enough to go again, so we agreed on something else.

Date night came, and I reluctantly went to BAM to meet him. I got there at 6 on the dot. Wolfie was on the payphone as I walked up to the building. He saw me, hung up in mid sentence and snapped "You're late!" Um, we'd agreed on 6. (I found out later that he'd started calling my house at 5:45 and was arguing with my dad about my whereabouts until I got there & he hung up) Not a good sign.

We went to his car, and the first issue came up. We had driven past 2 very good Chinese places and I realized we were heading toward the ONE restaurant I had said I would not eat in. I tried to tactfully make that point, and he said "But it's my favorite place and it's cheap!" Um, oooookay. Sure enough, that's where we went. I had a glass of terrible iced tea and watched him eat. No conversation, just him shoving food into his mouth like he hadn't eaten in a month. Our server came over during one of his 6 trips to the buffet and whispered "Good luck honey, he's a cheap bastard that doesn't tip."

He didn't tip either, despite the fact that he kept our server busy refilling his drink and demanding she go tell the kitchen they needed to add various dishes to the buffet. I surreptitiously left a couple of dollars on the table and he actually picked them up and pocketed them.

Issue number 2 came up in the parking lot. He said "We're going to see Godzilla!" I said no, I'd seen it and would prefer to see almost anything else. "But I had my heart set on that movie!" I suggested that he drop me off back at the bookstore and go see it himself. I mentioned that I'd rather see King Kong Vs Godzilla than the movie in theaters at the moment. He accused me of making the movie up. I told him it was a real movie, and he should look for it at the movie section of Wal-Mart the next time he was there. So he insisted on going to WallyWorld right then to see if I was right. Bought himself a copy, and then he wanted to go back to his place and watch it. "And my roommate's gone, so we'll be alone!" Oh no. Not me, not tonight.

Issue 3- Since I wouldn't go to the movie he wanted to see, and I wouldn't go back to his place, we needed to find something to do. (I was mentally pleading with him to take me back to my car) So off to the local indie record store we went. Just my luck, a former coworker was working there and was on duty when we dropped by. J grabbed my arm and hissed "What are you doing with that freak?" I hissed back that I was on the date from hell and would appreciate any assistance he could offer to get me out of it. We were in that damned store for 4 hours. Wolfie had to look at EVERYTHING. And criticize the music I was looking at. The only reason we left is becasue they were closing.

At that point, I thanked him for an interesting evening and insisted he take me back to my car. He said we should go clubbing since it was too late to go to the movies. I told him I needed to be at work early the next day, so I really needed to go home. (not a lie, actually)

He tried to follow me home- I shook him off in a residential area that was maze-like and hard to get out of unless you knew where you were going. I walked into the house and my dad informed me that if that fool ever called and argued with him again SOMEBODY was going to get their feelings hurt. I told him that I wasn't going out with the fool again and he could feel free to make things up if he was insane enough to call.

Don't you know he called 3 more times that night? 2 in the morning and he calls. (Dad had a great deal of fun with that) Then he showed up at the store when we opened to ask when we were going to go out again. Never, that's when.