Sunday, July 30, 2017

I think I'm back...

My tablet died, so I had to get a new one. The new model is considerably bigger, and consequently easier to type on. I'm going to try to resume semi-regular blogging... we'll see how I do.

I had to sign back into Facebook to save my progress on a few games. I took a brief glance at the first few items on my news feed, went "Nope" and will be deactivating the page again. I've been happier without it, although I *do* miss the interaction with a few friends & family members.

Still battling the fatigue issues, but my health is otherwise tolerably good. In an effort to be more active, I have started volunteering as a role player for training exercises at the police academy. THAT has been a freaking hoot! Most of the recruits are wet behind the ears kids, and the handful of older ones with some life experience still aren't prepared to deal with someone like me. One scenario I was in had me & another girl (who was almost as big as me) in a domestic issue where the ex-wife & new girlfriend started fighting when hubby tried to pick up the kids. She & I were having fun slinging furniture & throwing mock punches. The kids sent to stop us were both around 5'2-5'4 and probably less that 150 lbs each. The slightly taller of the two pushed his partner toward us, said "you deal with that while I talk to this dude." Little guy shrieked, "who, me?!?" We stopped fighting each other, turned & gave him evil smiles, and started his way. The assessor finally managed to stop laughing long enough to call a halt to the scene once it was clear that the kid was either going to wet himself or run, possibly both.

Another day saw me in a loud party scenario. I was paired up with Officer E, who is also a big girl, and another civilian. The kids were "dispatched" in groups of 3 this time, not that it did them much good. All 3 of us escaped custody, they usually didn't find the drugs & weapons hidden on us, and the piece de resistance was the final group. We were in a second floor room for this exercise, and had been heckling a group that was below us outside. (The training staff were in hysterics by the end of the day because E & I were being total heathens) We got what turned out to be our last group. As they burst into the "party" (which they did incorrectly) & turned our music off, I was hit with inspiration. I went a couple of rounds of music off/on with the little guy closest to me (seriously, most of this class is 5'2-5'8) and then freaked him out. I screamed, "oh, snap, someone sent us a police strip-o-gram! Get them clothes off, baby!" E immediately caught on & followed suit. (Our 3rd comrade & the assessor were both laughing too hard to do anything) We started grinding on those boys and tugging at their uniforms. THEY panicked. In the middle of all this, I grabbed my guy's gun (not a euphemism, his actual mock weapon. Thankfully they weren't given real guns & tasers for these exercises) and ran to the window, tossing it out the the scenario out below us, allowing all hell to break loose in that one too. The trainers called time on us at that point.

We went downstairs to return our stuff to the prop boxes & join the session debriefing. Then I hear the Lt. say, "wait, that's not a prop, that's a recruit's gun!" followed by a bellow of "which one of you damn fools got disarmed and who did it?!?" The kid reluctantly confessed & pointed at me. Lt. M gave him quite an earful about it. He also dropped by my office that night to tell me that they'd watched the body camera footage of all the incidents (they didn't tell US that those damn things were live... oops) and had been laughing themselves sick for 8 hours. Especially at the last scene. "We never knew you were so good at being bad!"

I'm really hoping that footage never leaves the academy, but I suspect it's making its way around the department.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Well, at least I made my dad laugh...

Dinner with my parents tonight was less than successful, but I DID make dad laugh twice.
Mom drove, & she has bad habit of tailgating cars @ red lights. I finally told her to put her Damn foot on the fucking brake & leave it there until the light was green AND the car ahead of us was moving. Dad started snickering and said he tells her that all the time. I told her there would be NO sympathy from me if/when she rear ends somebody.

Second laugh came after dinner when Mom asked me what I thought about the experience. "I can't believe I put on pants & a bra for that" was my answer. Dad thought it was so funny that he whipped out his phone & called my crazy uncle to tell him. Uncle John then wanted to know what I usually wear to dinner. "I don't know what to call half what that child wears. It usually looks like her pajamas to me!" My outraged squawk had both old coots laughing.

For the record, I have only gone to their house in pajamas ONCE that I recall, and that was Christmas a few years ago. I had a new pair of pajama pants with Cardinals on them & a fuzzy black PJ top. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to wear them out, but I did.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Stop The World, I Want To Get Off...

Nothing really new & exciting here. I'm still killing myself at work. My house is still a disaster. So is my car. Still trying to get the thyroid hormones leveled out, and I have another scope to see how much more damage my acid reflux has caused.

Dr B thinks I should cut out caffeine. After I stopped laughing, I told him I would try to cut it DOWN, but out was NOT an option. I kept my word- I'm back to drinking more tea than iced coffee, and the coffee I do brew is a 50-50 mix of my favorite dark roast & decaf. In related news, my energy levels have dropped further & my insomnia is back with a vengeance.

An absolute miracle occurred 2 Sundays ago. DAD, the man who never wants to do anything with us, actually went and saw Hidden Figures at the theater with Mom & me. He sat through the whole movie without fidgiting or complaining and even said he liked it afterwards! It was a good movie & I'm sick that Taraji P. Henson didn't get nominated for an Oscar for her role. She was fantastic. They all were.

I decided not to go back onto Facebook just yet. I think I'm going to hold out for a whole year off. I still miss some of my friends, but there's no doubt that going dark has preserved some of my precious remaining sanity.

Ta ta for now...

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Welcome to Another Year...

you may have noticed the lack of posts for December. I'll spare anyone who is reading this the details and just say it was another craptastic month.

So, to recap the positive things from last year:

1. Boo kitty has adjusted to life with me as his new person & is quite a cuddlebug.

2. The enormous thyroid tumor is gone & I can breathe again.

3. I exceeded my Goodreads Challenge goal! This year I'm combining it with the PopSugar Reading Challenge. I've also raised the goal a bit.

4. Dad made it through a year with no major health issues! Mom & Uncle John did too.

5. I deactivated my Facebook account. My stress levels dropped considerably. I was considering reactivating it his month, but I think I'm going to let it go a bit longer.

So that's that. And now for a few of this year's firsts:

First text message: responding to Psycho Sunshine.

First drink: large glass of iced coffee

First food: last (large) piece of Christmas rum cake

First purchase: 2 Kindle books (second purchase was 3 temporary tattoos on Etsy)

First DVD watched: Looney Tunes Golden Collection, Vol I

First book started: I'm Judging You by Luvvie Ajayi

First CD listened to: Alan Cumming Sings Sappy Songs

And now, dear readers (if I still have any), I'm out!