Monday Musings- The Things We Get At Work, and Why Can't I Shoot Some of These Clowns?

Two officers (one a well-known goofball) come in lugging a heavy looking metal box and looking a bit nervous. I walk up to the window and the goof says to me “I forget- what’s the property room policy on explosives?” I looked him straight in the eye and said “if it goes BOOM, you will be going to your eternal rest approximately 10 seconds before I die, with my hands locked around your throat and my foot lodged squarely up your ass. Now what’s really in the box?”

It turned out that the bomb squad had taken the really dangerous stuff- all they had was the box with a bunch of books on bomb making. Goofball looked at his partner and said “You know, I could walk in here with a severed head and she’d just look at me and tell me I’m a doofus.”

My response to that was “Let’s not be testing that theory, ‘kay?”