Monday, December 6, 2010

Zen and the Art of Herding Cats

No book review this time, just a view into my world. This particular incident happened back in August:

So, my three cats have a way of demanding attention at inopportune moments. Their favorite time to want petting is when I’m in the bathroom, ensconced on the throne, and not in the mood to be disturbed. I mean, heck, I don’t try to pet them when they’re in the litter box!

Anyway, there I am and of course all 3 come bounding in. (For those who ask why I don’t just close the door, they are good at zipping in before I can get it shut) Nightshade, the little black cat, is going through this phase where she will only drink water from the bathroom sink. She won’t drink from the bowl in the kitchen- I have to fill the sink a couple of times a day for her highness. Since I was in a position to do it, I went ahead and filled it for her.  She perched on the sink on the side by the wall and Felicity jumped up on the bathtub side to get a drink too. Malkin was on the floor between my feet demanding attention.

Well, Liss decided that she should be on the side of the sink by the wall and started trying to push Shady out of the way to get there. She managed to lose her balance and fall, sideways, into the sink, thoroughly drenching herself in the process. As soon as she started to slip, Shady leapt up and over her, landing in the tub. Liss shot straight up from the water and burrowed herself into my chest, screeching “What IS This?!? You KNOW I Don’t Get Wet!!! Why Did You Do This To Me?!?” (like I had anything to do with it) Malkin went into panic mode as soon as Liss started screeching and tried to flee the bathroom. He ran headlong into the door- TWICE- before finding his way out. “I swear, I didn’t do any of it, Mom! Really!” Felicity, in the meantime was still screaming “WHY ME, WHY ME?!?” and was climbing over my shoulder, smacking me in the face repeatedly with her wet tail, and avoiding my attempts to wrap her in a towel to get her dried off.  She finally jumped down and ran, still shrieking,  through the house. Nightshade got back up on the sink and gave me a plaintive meow “you KNOW I can’t drink this after SHE took a bath in it!”

I hurriedly finished my business and left Shady still wailing about her water while I hunted Felicity down with a towel. Of course, she had her dripping wet butt on top of one of my bookcases. (no books damaged, thankfully) She saw me coming with the towel, assumed I was going to Do It To Her Again, and took off…for the bathroom. Nightshade saw her coming and literally threw a hissy fit. Malkin had emerged from wherever he had gone to hide and got bowled over by Liss on her way back to the bathroom. (no mean feat there- he’s twice her size) Then I stumbled over him while chasing HER. I finally cornered Liss with the towel and got her dry, refilled the sink to shut Shady up, and picked Malk up for a cuddle to soothe his hurt feelings since we were all Being Mean To Him.

It seemed like forever, but I think the whole episode lasted about 5 minutes. All I can say is, if the cats make me this crazy, I am NEVER having kids.




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