Monday, June 15, 2015

Dummies of the Week

My job never fails to provide moments of hilarity, however unintentional. Here are the winners of the Blooming Idiot award for the last week:

The winner-Idiot 1: Officers are involved in a pursuit of subject on a stolen moped. Subject leaps off moped, causing it to crash in someone's yard and takes off on foot, with several officers in hot pursuit. Believe it or not, THIS isn't our winner. No, our winner jumps off the porch of the house next door to the crash and tries to take off on the already stolen moped, not realizing that 2 officers had abandoned the pursuit in order to secure the recovered stolen property. The dumbfounded officers watched him pick up the moped, sit down & start it up, and let him get about 6 feet before unceremoniously yanking him off it and arresting him. Oh, and he had a pocketful of dope on him, to boot.

Honorable Mention- Idiot 2: Officer responds to call of person in distress in fast food restaurant bathroom. Subject has come out of bathroom and is wobbling around in parking lot when officer arrives. Subject is quite clearly under the influence of something. When asked if he'd taken anything, he produced a bottle of bath salts from his pocket and asked the officer to taste them and tell him if they seemed off because he doesn't think they sold him the right thing. Officer declined and transported the idiot to the hospital, and then to jail.

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