Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Good Memories 2

I don't have a lot of good memories from Junior High/middle school. But one that stands out is from my 9th grade year. The science department was taking a group of students on a bus trip to Washington DC. I begged and pleaded with my parents to be able to go- it was a lot of money for us, but I REALLY wanted to go. Then my parents got a check from the IRS for an overpayment for the year before. We all needed to see doctors, I needed new glasses, and the car always needed work, but Mom said it was a sign and I was going on that trip. YAY.

The trip itself was a disaster. 75 deranged teenagers, 5 teachers, and one bus driver who hated everybody. We stopped at Luray Caverns on the way up, where 3 idiot boys wandered off and it took the guides 3 hours to find them and my crush, Troy, got his wallet stolen. We toured part of the Smithsonian and I got to see the model of the Starship Enterprise that is seen in the opening credits of the original Star Trek series and buy a mini replica that I STILL have.

The highlight of the trip was the dinner theater show. I'd been chosen to help the teacher in charge of the trip coordinate everyone's orders a week or so before the show. I don't recall the EXACT details, but we basically had to choose between chicken or beef for dinner and then the special orders had to be written up for the 3 students & 1 teacher who had dietary restrictions. I sorted through the paperwork, recorded everyone's choices, and presented Mrs. Pender with a typed up- in triplicate, no less- list of the sorted entree choices, alphabetized by traveller's last name. She was impressed and showed it to the other chaperones, which got me labelled a suck up by my fellow students. (it also got me upgraded to a better steak as a reward for my effort, heh heh heh)

So, after running the teachers ragged all day, the night before we went home, we got dressed up & went to the theatre. I wish I could remember the name of the place. We were originally scheduled to see Guys & Dolls, but they had changed shows and none of the chaperones knew. So instead of a gangster musical, we got to see A Chorus Line. None of them was familiar with it, but they figured it was probably ok...

...And it was, right up to the point where one character breaks into an ode to plastic surgery called "Dance 10, Looks 3."

If you can't access the clip from the movie version, here's a sample of the lyrics:

Dance: Ten; Looks: Three.
And I'm still on unemployment,
Dancing for my own enjoyment.
That ain't it, kid! That ain't it, kid!

"Dance: Ten, Looks: Three,"
Is like to die!
; Left the theatre and
Called the doctor
For my appointment to buy...

Tits and ass.
Bought myself a fancy pair.
Tightened up the derriere.
Did the nose with it.
All that goes with it.

Tits and ass!
Had the bingo-bongos done.
Suddenly I'm getting Nash'nal tours!
Tits and ass won't get you jobs,
Unless they're yours!

So the actress is singing & wiggling, the 75 students and 2 male teachers are whooping it up, and the 3 female teachers all went into cardiac arrest. "We're going to have to explain this to all their parents!"

I'm sure, of course, you can guess what song was sung, repeatedly and with great gusto, by 75 little heathens on the ride home to NC the next morning.

Oh, and as far as I know, nobody's parents complained. In fact, my mom took me to see the movie version when it came out a few years later!

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