Saturday, February 14, 2015

More Reasons That I Loathe Valentine's Day

Things that were said to me by the chuckleheads that I happened to be dating at the time V-day rolled around:

1. "Ahhh, flowers a waste of money, but we had these leftover from a promotion at work, so I grabbed you a couple. They were just going to go in the garbage anyway." Schmucknuts strikes again.

2. "Flowers are a waste of money. They just die." Then, after I said he could have just picked some out of the yard and I'd have been happy, "Those don't count- you'd know I didn't pay for them." Dipshit from High School

3. "I didn't get you any candy because you don't really need it." Schmucknuts again

4. "I didn't know what kind of candy you'd like. Besides, I didn't think we did the touchy feely crap." Beast. (you'd think at some point during the 10 or so years we were together he MIGHT have learned what candy I eat)

5. "How would it look if I was seen buying some dumb pink girlie card in a store?" Beast again, concerned about his tough guy image

6. "Oh, I don't want to celebrate Valentine's Day with you because my old girlfriend and I considered it our anniversary." The Lump, about 2 weeks before we broke up.

7. "Uh, you think we're dating? I thought we were just sleeping together." The jerk I lost my virginity to in college

So, you see, even when I *HAD* someone, I couldn't win. And I've pretty much lost all hope.

No comments:

Post a Comment