Monday, May 26, 2014

My Cats Are Nuts, But So Am I

The spate of nice weather that we've had has given both of the purr-beasts a bad case of spring fever. They've both taken to trying to escape at every opportunity, so I've been letting them go outside for a little while at varying hours. The hope is that they'll not get set on a schedule and expect to do this every day.

They both went out one afternoon. Malkin was ready to come back in after about 10 minutes. Nightshade, not so much. Then I heard frantic crying at the door, about 30 minutes later. I opened it to find Shady cowering on the porch while my neighbor Fran's little dog Remy was bouncing around her wanting to play. Apparently Shady is scared of dogs. Who knew? She sat there glaring at me. "Would you stop laughing and OPEN THE DAMN DOOR?!?" Remy tried to follow her in, but I shooed her back and gave her a pat to assuage her hurt feelings.

The next time they were let out, I left them to their own devices for about an hour while I washed my hair. I opened the door to find Shady waiting patiently on the top step. Turned out she wanted to use the litter box or she'd have still been roaming the yard. I maintain that the fact that every one of my cats should be indoor beasts and know it, because the first thing they do when they come inside is run to the box. If you're too dumb to know that outside is one big litter box, you're too dumb to live out there. Anyway, She came in, did her thing, and then decided to take a nap. I called for Malkin, who usually comes running when he hears his name. No sign of him. I put my shoes on and went to check the backyard. Sometimes he finds a patch of sunlight by the fence and goes to sleep or waits for me to come find him. No sign of him again. Now I'm starting to worry a bit. Malk is the Jethro Bodine of cats- Big, dumb, and pretty. I know he hasn't been hit by a car or anything, at least on our block, but don't see him anywhere. Then it hits me. Where does he wind up on the rare occasions I don't find him out back? Sure enough, he'd gotten confused and was on the neighbor's porch. "We don't live there, silly" I said, reaching for him. "Meow" was his reply as he rolled over to show me his belly.

Last Tuesday night was the best- Shady tore out the door as soon as I got home from work. I had just put food down for the feral cats and was somewhat concerned that this might lead to a fight. I looked out and she was head to head with the cat I call Jazz, both calmly eating out of the bowl. Then I saw Inky & Blot (the 2 black strays) slinking across the yard toward them. Nightshade whipped around, jumped to the bottom of the steps and stood there with her back arched, keeping them at bay until Jazz had gotten her fill. So at least now I know that they've bonded in case I ever need to bring Jazz indoors. I went to put my purse down, came back, and Jazz Was still at the bowl, sharing with Inky, while Shady & Blot were side by side on the pavement, grooming each other. Well, alrighty then. Malkin was dancing around my feet, so I turned him loose and went to make myself a late dinner.

10 minutes into dinner prep. I'm slicing boneless pork for stir fry and hear what sounds like my screen door slam. The problem is that I live alone and NOBODY should be just walking into my house. I whirl around with the knife in my hand, ready to slice the hell out of the fool who has DARED come into my home uninvited. Nobody's there. Then I SEE the door open a few inches again and slam shut. I walk a little closer and see a grey/white paw hook around the base of the screen door and tug. Damned if Greymalkin hadn't figured out how to open the door on his own! He just couldn't get it open far enough to get his fat little butt in before it closed on him. So once I stopped laughing at him and myself, I let him in. The other cats wouldn't play with him, apparently, so he wanted to come back in & cuddle with me.

Oh god, I'm well on my way to being a crazy cat lady...

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