Monday, January 23, 2012

Monday Musings- Why it is not a good idea to piss off psychotic women in parking lots

This incident occurred last year, but I think enough time has elapsed that it's safe for me to post it on my blog. From an email I sent my friends after the incident:

 I stopped at the Thornton's just of the expressway on my way to Mom's. It only has one pump island with the flex fuel- somebody was on one side, so I started to pull around to the other side. As I was doing that, some jackass in a white Chevy with Oklahoma plates cut me off and took the pump. Not only that, but he decided to flip me off and yell a few obscenities at me on his way into the store.

Now, y'all know me. I am NOT a peaceful live-and-let-live kind of person. I AM a vindictive, spiteful, fuck-with-me-and-you'll-be-sorry kind of person. The other car pulled away, so I backed around and got the the free pump. Mr Special comes out of the convenience store and proceeds to talk more shit to me while we're both pumping gas.

What a shame that I took a picture of the back of his car (showing his license plate, make and model) while he was in the store. Even more of a shame that he decided it would be fun to cut me off again when pulling out of the parking lot, waving his middle finger and screaming more nonsense at me. (no, thanks, pal. I wouldn't suck yours if it was the last form of sustenance on the planet) The biggest shame of all is that I got a strong whiff of marijuana when he opened his car door. And since he was kind enough to pull out onto the expressway ahead of me, I was able to tell the nice lady at dispatch which way the possibly under-the-influence driver was heading and what mile marker we were passing and give her a detailed description of the car with the plate number. He was pulled over less than a mile later by a very unamused friend of mine who just called to tell me that not only did Mr Special fail the field sobriety test, he had about a pound of marijuana, some Opana tablets (it's a painkiller for those who might not be familiar with it) several syringes, and something that looked like heroin. Ooopsie. I hope beating me to that gas pump was worth the night he'll be spending in jail and the legal fees he's going to incur.

And that my darlings, is why you should always be nice to people in the parking lot at a gas station. Or have enough sense to leave your drugs elsewhere if you MUST be a total jackhole.

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