Pioneer Woman's Chicken With Mustard Cream Sauce- AKA- Making Sunday Dinner for My Parents and Losing My Mind in The Process

Sunday Dinner- OMG. I was going to do Ree’s Chicken in Mustard Cream Sauce. (recipe here: http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2012/02/chicken-with-mustard-cream-sauce/)   I bought the brandy for the sauce and had the chicken- all my mother had to do was buy the cream. My dad likes to eat early (you know those senior citizen early bird specials? Meant for him) and I like to eat around 7, so I told them to make sure he had a snack or something so there would be no need to rush trying to cook.




Well, I got there at 6 and mentioned that the chicken was still partially frozen, so it might be 730 before dinner was ready. You would have thought I’d announced I was marrying Satan. “Well, your poor father has been starving for the last few hours, so I’ll have to go buy dinner then.” I gritted my teeth and said I’d brown the chicken and then nuke it while I was making the sauce and hope everything was done at the same time. Also asked what happened to “have a sandwich or something so I don’t have to rush cooking a new recipe.”



My mother follows me into the kitchen, griping about something and second guessing me on everything I did. their kitchen is really small- 2 big people in it is 1 too many. I finally told her to get the hell out and let me work in peace. She fiddled around, changed out the skillet I was going to use (which would have let me cook all the chicken at once instead of in batches), and finally left when I said I was leaving if she didn’t get out NOW.



Because I had to do the chicken in batches, the butter/olive oil mix I was browning it in got too hot and burned a little. Then when I poured in the brandy to start the sauce, it got really smoky. I quickly put the vent on, but Mom made a big production out of coughing and waving her magazine and opening the patio door. My equally helpful father came out of his room and asked what I was burning.



The brandy is reducing, I added in the mustard and chicken stock, and then I opened the fridge to get the cream…which is not there. I asked where it was and Mom said, “oh did you need that for tonight?” Well, the recipe is called Chicken in Mustard Cream Sauce, so yeah. “oh, well, I’ll run to the store and get some. Do you need anything else?” Yes, some valium, Xanax, and 2x4 to clock you with. I settled for a Dr Pepper.

Turned the heat down under the partial sauce mix. Put the rice & green beans that were the side dishes for this fiasco on to cook. Tasted the creamless sauce and it was not good. considered just going home at that point, but decided to stick it out. 40 minutes later, Mom returns from the store. Even on low heat, the sauce in the pan has almost gone dry. I throw in another splash of brandy and stock, let it heat up and add the cream the recipe calls for and another 1/4 cup, just because. Dumped the chicken back in, covered the pan and let it all simmer for another 5 minutes.



Amazingly enough, the meal turned out to be delicious. The extra simmering time for the sauce reduced the sting of the mustard taste. Having to microwave the chicken for a few minutes didn’t dry it out too badly, and being simmered in the sauce made it quite yummy. The only drawback is that we could have used about twice as much of the sauce as we had. We’re all gravy lovers.

Two thumbs up. Next week, we're trying this one: http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2012/02/pork-chops-with-garlic-and-wine/

Road Trip Rules

1. No smoking of anything in the car-EVER (thanks to a former co-worker who asked if she could smoke and then lit up a spliff in the wilds of Tennessee. I damn near turfed her out onto the road)

2. Drinks will have lids, spills will be sucked out of the upholstery by the spiller

3. Trash will be removed from the car at every stop. If my car is infested with fruit flies/ants/anything after the trip, every passenger will be called upon to come fumigate the vehicle while I crack a whip over their thick skulls.

4. If you are the assigned navigator, do not tell the driver that they need to “turn here” or “take this exit” as we are careening past it at 90 m.p.h. Otherwise be prepared to take turns on 2 wheels and/or be soundly cursed at by the driver.

5. If you are the assigned navigator, and we are traveling according to written directions, READ THE DIRECTIONS EXACTLY AS THEY ARE WRITTEN. DO NOT THINK THAT THEY ARE OPEN TO INTERPRETATION. Trust me, they AREN’T.

6. We are not stopping every 50 miles for you to pee. If you have a bladder the size of a lentil, consider Depends or cut back on the liquids. (This will be waived for certain medical conditions and/or at the driver’s discretion)

7. When we do stop, if food/drinks are available and you feel the need for one or both, GET THEM THEN. Asking to stop for either after we have just pulled back onto the interstate will get you smacked, hard.

8. Meal breaks are negotiable. Saying “anything is fine” and then rejecting the driver’s choice is not.

9. Trunks & cargo hatches have limited space. Pack accordingly. You do not need as much luggage as the Cirque du Soleil for a 2-3 day trip. You may wind up riding with your excess luggage in your lap. (learned this one the hard way traveling with wrestlers. Trust me when I tell you that 6 hours in a car clutching a 75 lb suitcase on your lap teaches you how to pack lightly)

10. Sharp inhalations, clutching the dashboard, or exclamations of fear are frowned upon by the driver. You don’t like the way I drive, you can drive next time. (just be aware that I morph into the passenger from hell- there are reasons I'm usually the driver and that is one of them)

11. Unless you are alerting the driver to law enforcement vehicles or other impending doom, “Ooooh, look at that!” is not something wise to say. In other words, "Oh look, a cow!" is not particularly helpful. On the other hand, "Oh look, a state trooper," is.

12. Control of the music may be negotiated, but the final say is up to the driver. (Warning- musical complaints may be resolved by me singing the entire catalog of Garth Brooks, Animaniacs, Phantom of the Opera, and anything else I can remember the words to. You'll be begging for the Metallica CD witihn 4 miles)

13. Control of the heat/AC is up to the driver. (ie, during winter trips, we will not be driving with one window down so you can breathe cool air. Conflicting temps are one of my migraine triggers. Do you really want me driving with a migraine? Didn't think so)

14. We do not stop anywhere not visible from the main road/interstate unless it is a DIRE emergency. (see the story about the ride home from Aunt Lora's funeral for reasons why)

15. Contributions to the gas fund/toll booth fund are not optional unless arrangements were made WELL beforehand. (thank some former friends for this one)





Idiotic Things I Have Done On Road Trips (mostly in my misspent youth)

1. Worn a bra on my head

2. Changed clothes in the front seat (I wasn’t driving)

3. Tied glow-in-the-dark condoms to the radio antenna

4. Jumped out of the car before it stopped moving and skidded 16 feet across the parking lot to talk to Ric Flair (who was most impressed that I slid to a stop in front of him without falling or knocking him over)

5. Driven backwards down a dirt road at 90 m.p.h.

6. Raced a carload of WCW wrestlers from Winston Salem to Raleigh (I won!)

7. Asked someone with a mush-mouth Southern accent for directions. (20 minutes/6 passes up and down the highway later we figured out that "faaaar taar road" meant Fire Tower Road)

8. Decided that it wasn't time to fill up even though I was down to less than 1/8 tank of gas. (and very luckily made it to the next stop)

9. Decided that the solution to utter exhaustion was to take No-Doz on top of Dr Pepper, a quart of tea, and very little food. (first trip to Toronto- I saw every bathroom from Ohio to Toronto thanks to that bit of foolishness)

10. Picked up a hitchhiker because he was cute. (to be fair, there were 4 of us in the car, I wasn't the driver, and he was on crutches...and very relieved to get out at his destination. I think WE scared HIM)


Suggested items for road trips

1. Cooler stocked w/beverages of choice for asst passengers (for trips in excess of 4 hours)

2. Plastic bags (grocery store are fine) for trash disposal

3. Asst snacks for passengers (also for the 4 hour rule. Things like trail mix are good. Yogurt and things that require utensils or are potentially messy are not)

4. Wet wipes

5. First aid kit with extra pain killers, sunblock, antihistamines (for myself & allergy prone passengers), and lipbalm. Also good are those little Listerine toothbrush thingies.

6. Small pillow & blanket (you never know if/when you'll need a nap or someone is going to get cold while the rest of the party is roasting)


Anybody have any other rules or suggested items for the car?

The British: An Awfully Useful Guide- Toby Hill

A short, but cutely illustrated guide to some of the things that make the British what they are. It takes about 10 minutes to read through.

It's Election Day!

*happydance happydance happydance*

After tonight, the election ads will go away!  With any luck people will find something new to talk about incessantly. Actually, I know they won't. The next few weeks will be spent listening to people rant and rave about the results of the election. No matter WHO wins, someone won't be happy. However, they are missing the point.

This year's election was supposed to have record turnout at the polls. No matter who wins, this is a GOOD thing. It means people are participating. I truly belive that you have no right to gripe if you don't at least register your opinion.

Now, here's to hoping the candidates I voted for win....

Things That Make Me Weary

It's been one of those days, kids...

1. Arguing with the power company

2. Arguing with the IRS

3. Repeating myself more than twice when trying to give/get information

4. Cleaning the litterbox (how can two smallish creatures create such an unholy mess?)

5. Jeans that fit fine last week but suddenly won't zip without the jaws of life

6. Explaining to the barista that I REALLY DO want my iced coffee black with no sugar. (it might be weird to you, pal, but I'm paying for it, I like it, and YOU'RE pouring coffee for a living so shut up)

7. Explaining to the order taker at any burger place that I DO NOT want cheese on my burger. (I don't like the taste of the nasty yellow rubber that masquerades as cheese in most of those places)

8. My job, in general

9. Family drama (take my relatives, please...well, most of them, anyway)

10. Being in the mood to read/cross stitch, and not being able to because I'm at work/doing something else that requires my attention


I know these are trivial things, and that there are many people out there who don't have it as good as I do. But sometimes things just weigh you down, so you vent them out.

My Heart is Aching to Stitch This One!

Ink Circles "Cirque des Coeurs"

and this is the thread I want to stitch it in:



Carrie's Threads in Renegade- the most beautiful purple & black mix.

Nerd Cred- I Haz It!

Well, I just impressed a Sgt with my nerd credentials. LOL. I was putting in his evidence and we found a pair of dice mixed in with the drug paraphernalia. So I listed them as 6 sided dice. When I handed him the receipt at the end, he looked it over and started laughing. “Well, of course they’re 6 sided. All dice are.”



I looked him straight in the eye and said “You never played Dungeons & Dragons as a kid, did you?” Then I pulled up Google Images to show him the myriad types of gaming dice there are. His eyes got big and he shook his head.



“Just when I think I know you, you go and throw something new at me. Damn, girl.”

Wait until I tell him about my sword...

 If I was still gaming, I'd love a set of these steampunk dice.  

This is sort of what my default set looked like.    This is a fair idea of what my dice bag looked like when spilled across the table. Only most of mine were purple & black. Surprised?

Thanks again to Google Images for the pictures.