Maybe It's Just Me

So, I've been checking out photography books from the library. The two I just finished flipping through were Modern Luxury Residences & Couture Wedding Gowns.

I don't get it. It's a good thing I'm not a rich celebrity who is supposed to care about this stuff. High fashion is wasted on me. I thought the wedding gown book would be fun, and it sort of was, but most of what I saw was hideous & the fun came from laughing at it. I look at Fashion Week photos online and wonder exactly who these designers think they're going to be dressing, because most of that "clothing" has no place in the real world.

Don't get me wrong- I like pretty clothes, but if it comes down to comfort & function or appearance & style, I'm going for comfort. You can't convince me that the girl with half a strip of fabric over her nipples, a skirt that restricts her ability to walk, and a headpiece that looks like a spittoon is comfortable.

And the Residence book...again, good thing I'm not rich. I don't want to live in an austere, sterile home. They're all beautifully designed, but they seem made to look at not live in. I like soft furnishings, pops of color, and spaces that make you want to stay in them. While I understand & appreciate a need for natural light, up to a point, I don't need massive windows in every flipping room. Especially when the window treatments (god forbid you call them curtains) are fussy and/or not designed to actually cover the damned things.

That said, I DO like quite a few of the designer bathrooms. I'd love to have some of the tubs I saw. Heated towel rails are lovely, and so are free standing showers. The toilets make me a little nervous- so many of them look like giant lidded cups. I'm used to traditional American loos with cisterns- you look at those and know what they're meant for.


Anyway, just felt like sharing those observations. The new cats are settling in, BTW. They're both venturing out of their hiding places and giving me drive by headbutts. Nightshade hasn't gone near them- they hiss and growl when they see her, poor girl- but I think they'll eventually warm up to each other.

Also, I dug out the Chat Noir cross stitch piece that I had started & abandoned in the fall. I'm almost done stitching the cat! Will try to post an updated picture of that next time.

Random thoughts from my brain

So, I've lost just enough weight (again) that my current underwear is too big, but the next size down is too small. I firmly believe that underwear - actually, all clothing - should come in half sizes, just like shoes!

I like the daily planner that I bought last year, so I thought I'd save money this year and just buy a refill for it. After going to three bookstores & two office supply stores, I *FINALLY* found one at Office Depot... and it cost just as much as buying a new planner would have. Actually more, because I would have at least gotten a 10% discount and B&N if I bought a planner there. I bought it anyway, but it really irked me. I mean, shouldn't there be some sort of eco-discount for reusing something & buying a refill for it rather than adding more junk to the landfill?!? On the other hand, the cashier was a cute little tattooed boy who lit up when he saw my Doctor Who inspired shirt. We had a good chat about our favorite Doctors and tattoos.

Here's a pic of the design on my shirt:

Tom Hiddleston & Michael Fassbender are trying to kill me. They both have several movies coming out that I desperately want to see. I may actually have to break down and set foot in a movie theater.

Nightshade is getting possessive. I think she knows I'd adopt all the feral cats if I could and she's making sure that they know I'm *HER* human and she's not sharing. Some of them have gotten brave enough to let me touch them - just for a second - before they run away. Or they'll brush against my leg when I'm filling their food bowl. Anyway, now there's an adorable little black kitten in the bunch. She looks like an even smaller version of my Shady-girl, right down to the white spot on her chest! I don't care what Shady thinks; if I can catch that little one, she's living inside with us. Period. In the meantime, Shady comes and stands by my feet while I talk to the outside kitties and hisses if they start to come over.

Tune in later for another installment of Random Thoughts...

This week's odds & bobs

So I forgot to mention 3 of my favorite birthday presents last week.

1. I got a new slow cooker! I've been struggling with my finances (again/still) and making a concentrated effort to cook/eat at home instead of the fast food habit I'd fallen back into. I'm pleased to say it's been working AND I've lost another 5 lbs. Having the slow cooker & crock pot helps a lot with that. I throw something together in one of them when I get home from work, go to bed, and have a nice meal ready when I wake up later!

2. These sheets. Forgive the unmade bed, note the Loki pillow, with the normal Tom Hiddleston pillow peeping out in the background. 😉

Yes, they're a sort of tiedyed fireworks pattern. Made out of super soft jersey material.

3. I didn't feel like unmaking the bed to get a picture of the best gift. My parents got me the memory gel mattress pad that I'd been wanting. OMG, that thing is like sleeping on a cloud! I never like to wake up and get out of bed as it is and that thing makes me want to LIVE in my bed permanently.

So that's those. Next we have a shot of my IKEA shower curtain (I spent part of Labor Day scrubbing my bathroom & putting it up) and the pillowcase I'd bought there. (also went to the Joann's Fabric Labor Day sale and scored the pillow form dirt cheap!)

Last, but not least, my cross stitch projects. I've done a bit more on the cat (it might not look like it, but trust me, I did a good bit) and started Sweetheart Tree's Teenie Tweenie La Fleur on a random evenweave mini in Carrie's Ltd Edition silk Not Slate.

I've taken another break from Facebook, and it helped me realize that I was spending WAY too much time on it. I've gotten back into my stitching, been reading more again (that was the first sign that something needed to change- I was barely reading and that's just NOT me), and will probably blog a bit more frequently.

Ta ta for now!

There's No Such Thing As Bad Bacon...

...but CHEAP bacon is a pain in the ass to work with. I bought some the other day because it looked good in the package- you know, that test strip they show you on the back?- and it fit into the limited budget I have to work with until payday. Went to make some for dinner tonight and spent 20 minutes cursing and trying to separate strips, before giving up in disgust. I threw the whole mess onto a roasting pan in the oven. Good thing too- by the time the fat was rendered, there was just enough bacon to make 2 decent sized sandwiches. Out of an ENTIRE 12 oz package. At least it tasted good!

Thought for the Day

Found in Michelle Tea's "How to Grow Up":

Never regret money spent on books or flowers

I heartily agree with this.

10 Random Questions Answered

Gail Carriger, one of my blogging/writing idols, posted these on her blog last week. Here are my answers!

1. As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Well, I'm not sure I've grown up yet, but I went from actress, to writer, to morning show DJ, to wrestler (actually did that one, briefly), to anything but what I am now...LOL. I'm not sure what I want to be anymore. Except a princess. I'll always want to be a princess!

2. What is your favorite food-related memory?
So many good memories in my life center around food! Here are two, one for each of my parents:
1. Daddy used to work for a chain called Jack's Steak House that had really good chocolate cake. I was in 2nd/3rd grade then. If I had been good, he would bring home a piece of cake when he came in for the night (He'd get home between 1030-1100) and I was allowed to get up and watch Odd Couple re-runs with him while I ate my cake.
2. Mom & I went to England for my 32nd birthday. On the actual day, we took a day-trip to Bath & Stonehenge. We had our first official British tea in a little tea-house in Bath. (not Sally Lunn's- couldn't get near it, but the little place we wound up in was charming!) I discovered the joys of clotted cream that day!

3. Summer or winter?
Winter. I just can't deal with summer heat, despite the fact that I was born & raised in the American South and it's pretty much a year round thing. Actually, I prefer moderate spring/fall weather to just about anything.

4. Proudest five-minutes-of-fame moment?
I won a best lips contest at a screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. We'll go with that.

5. What is your most irrational fear?
Not really irrational- I'm terrified of blindness & suffocation.

6. Favorite holiday destination?
ENGLAND!!!

7. What singer / band did you see at your first concert?
Eeep. I'm not entirely sure anymore. Does going to see my friend Peter's band in high school count? If not, I'll go with Garth Brooks in the early 90's. Not sure it's right, but it's one of my most vivid concert memories! (as talked about here)

8. What’s the worst lie you ever told?
"I've just got the flu."

9. Which teacher had the biggest impact on you?
My 8th grade English/Social Studies teacher taught me not to try to answer questions in her class. She asked us what amendment freed the slaves. Nobody in my class knew. I had read the chapter we were supposed to, but couldn't remember for sure if it was the 13th or 14th. (it's the 13th, BTW. I will NEVER forget that for the rest of my life) Anyway, I was brave enough to guess and got treated to a thirty minute diatribe about how disgraceful it was that I didn't know the amendment that set my people free. And another 5 minutes about being a smart ass when she paused for breath & I told her it only set half of them free, thank you very much.

My 10th grade Spanish teacher was a better influence. She was a big lady, and saw how uncomfortable I was in my own skin. She tried to teach me to appreciate myself as I was, and got me involved in the school student council. I'll never forget her for that. Sadly she died of cancer a few years ago. I regret that I never went back and told her how much she meant to me.

10. If you won a million bucks, what would you spend it on?
My parents get a house wherever they want it and then I'm taking the rest and going straight to England.

So much for Spring

I think we had three actual spring-like days, followed by a cold snap and then straight into summer. My sinuses have just given up. My power bills will continue to be insane. I want to go home and go to bed...

Random Thought for the Day

Ink pens & lighters are two of the commonly most stolen items in the world. Both are made by BIC. Coincidence?!?

Where has my brain gone?

As you may have noticed, I haven't posted much again lately. There have been some things going on worth posting to me, I just haven't had the time/energy to do anything about them. I'll try to work on that over the next few weeks.

Mostly as a reminder for myself, but also as a sort of teaser for anyone interested, upcoming posts will feature:

1. Going to a Neil Gaiman signing. (He's lovely)

2. Going to a house concert featuring Evie Laden & Keith Terry

3. My job has tried to kill me again, aka the moldy money story

4. British DVD's and how I'm too broke to buy them but do it anyway

5. My jackass brother is coming to visit...yay

6. Why I hate storms & wish my neighbor would just cut that damned tree down already

7. Contests, past & present

8. Games and how I get utterly addicted to them

9. Swedish murder mysteries (Camilla Lackberg)

10. S.T.A.R.E. & S.A.B.L.E. (STITCHY STUFF)

This is NOT an official US holiday, people!

Semi-random thought: Cinco De Mayo is a MEXICAN holiday, so WHY does the US celebrate it?!? Like St Patrick’s Day, we’ve co-opted another country’s celebration as an excuse for people to get stupidly drunk.

Getting off the Soapbox of Sanity now...

Odds and Ends

Late post. At least there IS one this Monday...

Anyway, I seem to have hit a patch of writer's block, so here are some random reflections from my weekend:

1. Had lunch with my parents at Carabba's on Saturday. My father ordered a weird seafood canneloni dish that he didn't like instead of the shrimp fettucine we all knew he would, just to prove a point. No idea what that point was, but there you go. Mom had chicken fettucine and I had the steak marsala with garlic mashed potatoes and it was awesome. However, the best thing we ate was the caramelized onion and bacon flatbread! That's going on the list of favorites.

2. Went to Trader Joe's and, as usual, the parking lot and store were both a zoo. I grabbed the few things I needed for the mexican meal Mom & I planned for Sunday and tried to get out of dodge before I lost my mind. Got to the registers and they all had long lines. Several family groups were there, including one idiot woman who clearly believes in the free-range children version of parenting. Her children were doing some whirling dervish spinning/dancing, throwing things at each other, and being genrall obnoxious while she smiled beatifically at them. The cashier said something to her in a low tone and she said "They're free spirits!" Fine, ask them to be free spirits over there (pointed at the door) becasue they're in everyone's way over here. She huffily called them back to her side. About the time I made it through my line and tried to get to the door, the older child had once again left mom's side and was spinning in the middle of the exit aisle. I stopped and the brat crashed into me. Before I could do/say anything, Mom snarls at me. "You need to watch out for my child!" I favored her with my best evil, someone's-about-to-die smile and the cashier hissed, "No, your child needs to watch out for her!" The child was yanked back to her side in a hurry.

3. I attempted to leave the Trader Joe's lot and get to Whole Foods. 35 minutes later, I'd made it 20 feet. So what do I do next? I didn't stop at WF, I did something even more idiotic- went to Walmart on a Saturday afternoon. The geniuses at the Walmart by my house had filled that main aisles with displays that barely left room for one person with a cart to get by in either direction. they also decided that 5 p.m. Saturday was a perfect time to drag pallets out of the storerooms and leave them in random aisles so people couldn't duck down them instead of trailing along behind groups blocking the main aisles. Naturally, I got stuck behind Shamu's sister who was waddling along in 5 inch heels (yeah, those help with the mobility problems that go with obesity), leaning on her cart while munching on a bucket of (unpaid for) fried chicken from the deli and hollering for "Junior" to go get her some Doritos and Cheez Whiz (not making this up) while yacking on her cell phone. There were 10 people backed up behind me when I finally snapped and started screaming. One man whispered "Follow that lady!" to his wife. "We might actually get out of here sometime today."

4. Sunday stupidity was self-inflicted. I decided it was time to color my hair again. Have actually been meaning to do it for weeks, but decided yesterday was the day. Warm Reddish Brown is the color I was supposed to get. Warm Reddish Brown, my big fat ass. My hair is the color of burnt plum sauce. Or, as my mother said, "well....it's kind of purpley in the right light."

5. Dinner was excellent! We made Sausage & Potato and Spicy Fish Tacos. Topped with Creamy Cabbage & Corn Slaw or Citrusy Radish Slaw. I got to zing my mother with one of her classic lines regarding the fish tacos. "How Do You KNOW You Don't Like Them If You've Never Tried Them?!?" She tried one and allowed as they weren't bad, but she preferred the sausage.


So that was my weekend.

Oh, and today's moment of stupidity? Came from the officer who looked at me and said "Is your hair supposed to be that color?" I asked him about his limp. "What limp?" This one...and I kicked the crap out of his shin. (Relax, it was a friend and I was reasonably sure I wan't going to be charged with assault)

Today's Thoughts

I'm only cranky on days that end with a Y.


Also, toasting slices of Sara Lee pound cake and slathering them with Nutella is a perfectly reasonable reward for convinicing yourself to get out of bed.

Ok, that's enough of this.

While I am in aboslutely NO hurry to experience any hot weather, especially the wretched heat we had last year, I have had enough of the cold weather we are having. The day here started out at -5 with the wind chill factor. UGH.

The best part of weather like this is curling up under 50 layers of blankets in bed with one or both cats burrowed into my back/side and sleeping a day away. Second best is sitting in my recliner with one or both cats in my lap and the space heater blowing on my feet while I read/stitch/watch movies.

And while I'm griping, here are a few more things I am sick of:

1. Kim Kardashian & her family

2. Beyonce. The bitch can't sing and had to lip-sync. And I still think that was a fake pregnancy.

3. The word 'babymoon', most commonly used in stories about stupid celebrities who go on romatic trips that normal people can't afford while in the early stages of pregnancy.

4. The concept of 'push presents.' Again, mainly used by idiot celebrities. WHY do you deserve an expensive toy for giving birth? Especially one that could feed a 3rd world country for a year? I'm sure that Poor Woman Giving Birth in a place like that would love a push present too... probably decent medical care.

5. That damn commerical for some male enhancement product that features Joe Theisman telling me more about his prostate than I *EVER* wanted to know.

Did I miss anything major? Share your gripes below.

Things I Hate About Winter

1. My office maintains an average temp of 50 below and it is not an uncommon sight to see us in parkas & fingerless gloves while we try to handle evidence.

2. The homeless people who get arrested so that they'll have somewhere warm to sleep. I don't begrudge them getting shelter, however misguidedly, but I hate that Corrections won't take their bags so that WE are forced to deal with the (often stinky) mess. And the cranky people that then have to hike 4-5 miles to our office to reclaim their stuff.

3. The cold weather plays hell with my arthritic knees & back.

4. The nasty slushy mess that makes driving in Louisville an even more hazardous task after the first snowfall starts to melt.

5. Every stray cat in the neighborhood comes to roost under my house, often mating under my bedroom floor. Glad they're warm and somewhat safe, wish they weren't homeless to begin with.

6. My little black cat loses her mind and races around the house, often shrieking madly, until I snap and threaten to kill her.

7. My father gets VERY grumpy about the cold weather, making my mother crazy, in turn making me even crazier.

8. Listening to holiday music ad nauseum EVERYWHERE I go.

9. The office holiday party.  Almost nobody ever really wants one, but there's always some gung-ho idiot who just HAS to organzize one. I put my foot down last year- no presents for the jackholes I work with, no special treats, and since I'm not participating, I'm not cleaning it up. Expect a repeat performance this year.

10. The politically correct police who insist  "We should say Happy Holidays so that everyone will feel included!" and those who argue that "Christ is the reason for the season" and "You cain't take Christ out of Christmas!" Here's my take on the issue- SHUT UP, celebrate the way you are comfortable, and don't force your views on the rest of the world. If someone gives you a holiday greeting that's different from your view, just smile, thank them, and be grateful that anyone is speaking to your sorry ass in the first place.

Monday Musings- Funeral Attire

I've had the misfortune of having to attend several funerals in the last few years, and I've noticed a trend that disturbs me. Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but I really think that the world has taken casual culture a bit too far.

Case in point- what does one wear to a funeral? Different cultures have their own traditions- for example, I think that the Chinese consider white to be the color for death- but for a long time, black- or at the very least, a muted dark color- has been the the color most often worn to funerary services in the Western world. People generally wore their 'good' clothes. Not these days.

I understand that in cases of poverty, one wears what one has, and that will have to do. I can accept that. (not trying to sound like some kind of snob here- I've been down that road, and have friends/family who are still struggling to get off it) Some people don't want their loved ones to wear colors traditionally associated with mourning and request colorful, cheery garb to be worn if possible. I can relate to that too. What I *don't* understand is the thought process of people who wear clothing that is better suited for the Las Vegas Strip or a quick trip to the gym when you CAN wear something more fitting for the occasion.

These are a few of the things I have seen at funerals the last few years:

*A torn, dirty Megadeath t-shirt and floral board shorts (on an approximately 20 y.o. male accompanied by his suit-wearing father)

*Tracksuits in assorted colors (both sexes and all ages)

*Blue jeans and a bikini top (seriously)

*A dress with cleavage cut down to an area that the hem barely covered (accompanying the bikini top wearer)

*An "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt (clearly worn by the wrong person, at the wrong time, in that party)

*Sweatsuits (again, all sexes & ages)

*A heavily pregnant girl wearing hot pants and a shirt with the belly cut out and the words "foxy mama" in sequins on the back.





Maybe I'm old fashioned. None of these seem particularly appropriate to me. What do you think?

P.S. For the record- I lifted my moratorium on solid black for Aunt Lora's funeral a few weeks back. I wore a dark purple sweater with a purple/black/white floral patterned skirt and black boots. My cleavage was not hanging out, and both my hoo-ha & rear end were completely covered AND stayed that way.

Monday Musings- I have the maternal instict of a rabid wombat

There was no post last week because some work drama had taken over my life and it took everything I had to cope without causing GBH to myself or anyone else. But it's been dealt with, to the best of my ability, and hopefully things will run smoothly for a little while.

So, let's talk about children. I don't like them and I'm not comfortable around them. I didn't really like them when *I* was a child. As I entered young adulthood, I regarded baby-sitting as a necessary evil to obtain money since there weren't many job opportunities for Queen of the Entire Freaking Universe. (A job I'm still seeking, I might add) I don't mind pictures, and will coo over baby photos offered by friends and family, but that is as far as I go.

Someone once told me that I'd like children once I had some. Um, no. My dislike for children, and all that comes with them, is why I DON'T have any. I don't like dealing with bodily fluids/secretions, I like my privacy and not having that many restrictions on my life, I enjoy both peace & quiet and the occasional bout of headbanging music. I do not enjoy having conversations interrupted by bouts of crying/screaming/barfing, having plans made around little sweetum's sleep/school/activity schedule (all of which are liable to be cancelled at a minute's notice),  having my purse gone through by mommy's little darling ("He/She's exploring new things!" No, she's broken my Kindle, ripped apart my wallet, eaten my lipstick, and absconded with my cash -OR- He's 14, should know better, and has just stolen my MP3 player, pain pills, and the cash his younger sibling missed), having my hair pulled, and worse.

I've been told that I'm a selfish cow and a horrible person for not liking/having kids. Yes, I suppose I am selfish. However, isn't it better for someone who doesn't like/want kids to NOT have them? How many children are abused/neglected by parents who don't give a damn about them?  How is that fair to a child?(not saying I would do that, but let's face it- a LOT of people do)  I also have a fair number of genetic flaws that it wouldn't be fair to inflict on another person. Granted, I don't think my parents planned for me to inherit some of the worst traits from both sides of the family (as well as some of the just plain odd ones- like being able to use my toes to pick up 2 liter bottles of soda and other random objects. My ex, the Schmuck- another person who should NEVER be allowed to pass on genetic material- called them my monkey toes) but I don't feel the need to risk passing them on.

Now pets are a different story. I love my fur-kids to death, and jokingly refer to myself as their mama. I love dogs, but don't have any because I have a somewhat erratic work schedule and it's not fair to a dog to be cooped up alone all day and then not get any exercise because their owner is too tired or in too much pain when they DO get home. I currently am owned by 3 cats (let's face it- they own me, not the other way around) and I feel guilty when work takes me away from them for extended periods. But it's much easier to play with them, even when tired and in pain (I have bad knees and degenerating vertebrae in my lower back which cause pinched nerves and general pain) and they love to just climb up on me and snuggle in. I LOATHE the litter box, but most cat people feel the same.

I feel the same way about my pets that some people feel about their children, and that's fine. They don't have to like my cats, I don't have to like their kids. Life will go on and all will be well with the world. As well as it gets, anyway.

Monday Musings- It's the end of the world as we know it...

After roughly a year of Poetry Monday, I've decided to try something new. Welcome to a weekly look inside my twisted brain....

So, there's been a lot of discussion about how the world is going to end in December of this year. People all over the planet are reportedly spending thousands of dollars for reserved spots in 'survival bunkers' or planning suicide to escape the horrors of Armageddon. The suicides? Well, if you're that convinced it's going to happen, why wait? *Please note, I am not suggesting that anyone go out and kill themselves* But if you're seriously that concerned, you'd just do it, not wait to see what's gonig to happen. So I don't quite buy that 'escape' plan.

And as far as the people who plan to barricade themselves in bunkers go? Um, call me crazy, but what are you going to do if the world does end? There you'll be, safe & snug in your little bunker...until the food, water, and air run out. Then what? If the world above/around you is uninhabitable, you're screwed. Do you drink your own urine, contemplate cannabalism, and kill the old/weak to save air for the others? *Again, NOT suggesting any of these as viable options*

I don't have the money to waste on a bunker. Even if I did, I wouldn't. Because if I had that kind of money, I'd be buying my own space shuttle, loading up with supplies, and hoping to find another inhabitable planet before everything ran out. Frankly, I like the idea of floating amiably in space with my cats, books, stitching, choclate, and caffeine. Well, that is, I like the idea until I think of the thought of zero-G toilets. And not being able to have a proper bath...or cook...and imagining what kind of litter box area....hmmm, maybe I should leave the little fuzzy suckers to fend for themselves......

Nah. I'll just take my chances that we'll all live to see another day after December 21st. I could never leave my beloved cats behind, and unless I could come up with the money to take my closest friends/family members/crush of the moment, I wouldn't have anyone to interact with. Despite my fondness for solitude, I do like knowing that my loved ones are there if I need them. How could I leave them behind?

Anyway, those are my thoughts for this week. Feel free to tell me how you feel about the end of the world!

*yes, I am humming that R.E.M. song as I type this. You're welcome for the earworm now burrowing into your brain.