Sunday, July 30, 2017

I think I'm back...

My tablet died, so I had to get a new one. The new model is considerably bigger, and consequently easier to type on. I'm going to try to resume semi-regular blogging... we'll see how I do.

I had to sign back into Facebook to save my progress on a few games. I took a brief glance at the first few items on my news feed, went "Nope" and will be deactivating the page again. I've been happier without it, although I *do* miss the interaction with a few friends & family members.

Still battling the fatigue issues, but my health is otherwise tolerably good. In an effort to be more active, I have started volunteering as a role player for training exercises at the police academy. THAT has been a freaking hoot! Most of the recruits are wet behind the ears kids, and the handful of older ones with some life experience still aren't prepared to deal with someone like me. One scenario I was in had me & another girl (who was almost as big as me) in a domestic issue where the ex-wife & new girlfriend started fighting when hubby tried to pick up the kids. She & I were having fun slinging furniture & throwing mock punches. The kids sent to stop us were both around 5'2-5'4 and probably less that 150 lbs each. The slightly taller of the two pushed his partner toward us, said "you deal with that while I talk to this dude." Little guy shrieked, "who, me?!?" We stopped fighting each other, turned & gave him evil smiles, and started his way. The assessor finally managed to stop laughing long enough to call a halt to the scene once it was clear that the kid was either going to wet himself or run, possibly both.

Another day saw me in a loud party scenario. I was paired up with Officer E, who is also a big girl, and another civilian. The kids were "dispatched" in groups of 3 this time, not that it did them much good. All 3 of us escaped custody, they usually didn't find the drugs & weapons hidden on us, and the piece de resistance was the final group. We were in a second floor room for this exercise, and had been heckling a group that was below us outside. (The training staff were in hysterics by the end of the day because E & I were being total heathens) We got what turned out to be our last group. As they burst into the "party" (which they did incorrectly) & turned our music off, I was hit with inspiration. I went a couple of rounds of music off/on with the little guy closest to me (seriously, most of this class is 5'2-5'8) and then freaked him out. I screamed, "oh, snap, someone sent us a police strip-o-gram! Get them clothes off, baby!" E immediately caught on & followed suit. (Our 3rd comrade & the assessor were both laughing too hard to do anything) We started grinding on those boys and tugging at their uniforms. THEY panicked. In the middle of all this, I grabbed my guy's gun (not a euphemism, his actual mock weapon. Thankfully they weren't given real guns & tasers for these exercises) and ran to the window, tossing it out the the scenario out below us, allowing all hell to break loose in that one too. The trainers called time on us at that point.

We went downstairs to return our stuff to the prop boxes & join the session debriefing. Then I hear the Lt. say, "wait, that's not a prop, that's a recruit's gun!" followed by a bellow of "which one of you damn fools got disarmed and who did it?!?" The kid reluctantly confessed & pointed at me. Lt. M gave him quite an earful about it. He also dropped by my office that night to tell me that they'd watched the body camera footage of all the incidents (they didn't tell US that those damn things were live... oops) and had been laughing themselves sick for 8 hours. Especially at the last scene. "We never knew you were so good at being bad!"

I'm really hoping that footage never leaves the academy, but I suspect it's making its way around the department.

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